I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
