Me. At least after what I've been through.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize