Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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