I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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