I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
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I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
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And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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