she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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