Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So apparently I’m into choking now
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
