At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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