SEEEEXXX PLEASE
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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