I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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