that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
