I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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