dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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