I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
