There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
