so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
