If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
People in love make me want to vomit
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize