why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
