do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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