Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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