You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize