sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This house was built for laser tag.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
