im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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