So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
