i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
