I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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