this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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