I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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