God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I supernannyed him into submission
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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