12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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