My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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