I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize