Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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