You're my little dorito
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
