I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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