You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
