I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
