Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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