She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
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you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
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As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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