haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
