i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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