we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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