she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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