Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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