I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
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I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's never too late to be topless.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
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There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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