i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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