a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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