u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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