i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.