Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks