I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is