She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
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Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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