Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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