I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
