I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
