Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize