I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
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