Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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