i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
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The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going