the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.