id be glad to
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once