Dude i fell asleep inside of her
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.