Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.

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  (443): He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep. http://tfl.nu/lshi
  Replies (27) Good night (1368) Bad night (4784) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.

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  (417): Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library. http://tfl.nu/8guv
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  did u really fuck my little sister???

  (706): View more from Georgia

  im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"

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  (678): did u really fuck my little sister??? (706): im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess" http://tfl.nu/dz4c
  Replies (155) Good night (15582) Bad night (1719)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.

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  (917): Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship. http://tfl.nu/8xz2
  Replies (26) Good night (7413) Bad night (1034) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.

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  (315): thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often. http://tfl.nu/bjyl
  Replies (25) Good night (3345) Bad night (2075)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"

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  (702): So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this" http://tfl.nu/lsrz
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.

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  (810): I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio. http://tfl.nu/bxp9
  Replies (10) Good night (843) Bad night (2854) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.

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  (314): Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there. http://tfl.nu/fiix
  Replies (6) Good night (1202) Bad night (1235) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.

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  (306): I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text. http://tfl.nu/e61q
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.

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  (479): As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man. http://tfl.nu/2x85
  Replies (2) Good night (786) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.

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  (404): The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again. http://tfl.nu/6m3f
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Im coming down to miami this weekend

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  We shall drink from the everclear river

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  (330): Im coming down to miami this weekend (1-330): We shall drink from the everclear river http://tfl.nu/wehk
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.

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  (318): I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna. http://tfl.nu/hik5
  Replies (4) Good night (1178) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.

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  (203): I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was. http://tfl.nu/rzaa
  Replies (3) Good night (765) Bad night (225)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life

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  (+64): the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life http://tfl.nu/95hw
  Replies (2) Good night (861) Bad night (113) Order T-Shirt

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