legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize