ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
