Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
