Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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